Thursday, June 21, 2007

Twisted Scripture

These two billboards have recently gone up along I-40 near Bellevue Baptist Church.

This one is next to the seminary and faces west:


That's a nice sentiment, but it's only part of the verse. This is the verse in its entirety.

"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." Romans 12:16 NIV

Read the verse in context here.

This one is adjacent to the ball fields and faces east:

"Pray for one another." There's certainly nothing wrong with that. But is that what James 5:9 really says? Let's take a look.

"Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!" James 5:9 NIV

Read the verse in context
here. The verse on the billboard is a snippet from James 5:16 NASB. So why doesn't the sign say "James 5:16"? Is this just another "mistake of the mind"?

And now we have word of a third billboard, this one on Summer Avenue near Mendenhall.

Here is that verse in its entirety:

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25 NIV

I've heard there are more of these billboards around town. Anyone who knows the location of others (photos would be nice), please let me know. I'm sure these aren't the only hidden nuggets just waiting for the "dissenters" to find. Think of it as a sheep-beaters treasure hunt!

723 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   601 – 723 of 723
Lin said...

What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

10:34 PM, June 26, 2007

Cakes, I don't get it. Am I blonde or what?

Junkster said...

Cakes,
The Buddhists have all the best jokes!

Junkster said...

Lin ... one ... with everything ... hahahaaaaa!

johnthebaptist said...

lindon...LOL-- very funny.


Allofgrace....as a preacher, chicken jokes are not funny. Please refrain yourself. ; )

Lin said...

junk,

(light bulb going off in head)

OHHHHHH! Now I get it.

(shhh...thanks...)

David Hall said...

Actually, the Catholics have the best jokes, the caveat being they are generally the butt of them.

David Hall said...

How many lins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Lin said...

OK, this really happened this past Sunday night.

The bulletin said we were having an old fashioned ice cream social after service. It stated there would homemade ice cream and make your own sundae's.

One poor guy showed up with his ice cream maker to make the 'homemade' ice cream. Poor thing...it was still churning as everyone was preparing to leave with messy, tired kids.

I kept thinking...that could have been me....if I had an ice cream maker!!

charis said...

I haven't been keeping up... how many preachers do we have in here?

Lin said...

Cakes said...
How many lins does it take to screw in a light bulb? "

I call the electrician. It might ruin my nails. Or, I might fall off the ladder. Or, I might electrocute myself.

Actually that is a man's job. I believe they should fight the wars, take out the trash and kill all spiders, too.

David Hall said...

I got kicked out of Bible School--does that count?

concernedSBCer said...

Lin: I'm with you!!!!

and if I could add one......mow the yard!

Lin said...

I got kicked out of Bible School--does that count? "

Not to brag, but I passed every single Bible school. :0)

concernedSBCer said...

Charis: Quite a few, actually.....

and several visitors.....

Piglet said...

Oh no, I can't stop laughing!

David Hall said...

Well, I've passed 4 kidney stones--beat that.

charis said...

...still wondering how one really gets kicked out of Bible School...

concernedSBCer said...

Lin: You've got (important, top secret) mail!

Lin said...

Well, I've passed 4 kidney stones--beat that.

10:53 PM, June 26, 2007

ONE BABY, thank you very much. You guys just don't get it.

charis said...

Oh! Oh! My daddy can beat up your daddy. Beat that.

David Hall said...

Charis,

Very uncarefully.

concernedSBCer said...

Cakes: Sorry, dude...I got you beat.....
I delivered triplets...in 3 minutes!

And did I also mention I taught 6 years of Bible Drill????

(General-Galations
Electric- Ephesians
Power- Philippians
Company- Colossians)

Lin said...

concerned: Answered

Piglet said...

Still laughing!!

Lin said...

And did I also mention I taught 6 years of Bible Drill????

(General-Galations
Electric- Ephesians
Power- Philippians
Company- Colossians)"

We called them 'Sword Drills' and I always ended up having to find the minor prophets.

My former secretary has been a Bible Drill coach for 20 years! You guys will get an extra crown for that...:o)

johnthebaptist said...

I found this on Bob Sorrells website for his consulting business, The Associate.....interesting...


Consulting
The Associate offers highly personalized consultation. Typically there is a waiting time since Bob strictly limits the number of churches with whom he works at the same time.

Full Program – 9 month duration
Two days on your campus each month
Pastor’s vision refinement
Program analysis
Staff evaluation and reorganization
Annual Ministry Plan
Long Range Plan (7-10 years)
Financial Models (7-10 years)
Mentoring for on-going program
Only (2) churches accepted at any one time because of intense involvement
Specialized Programs: (3 months duration)(Most common requests)
Streamline Office of Pastor for maximum ministry effectiveness and personal priority structure
Staff Analysis/Evaluation with proposed restructuring to enhance team function
Program Analysis – What’s working…What’s not working…Proposed networking for focused church-wide ministry
Annualized Planning Process to affect vision realities
Long Range Planning – program and financial for next 5-7 years.
Pastor/Staff/Deacon/Committee Relationship analysis with recommended leadership model.

Here is one testamonial from someone we all know and lo...I just can't say the "L" word there.


Steve Gaines
Bellevue Baptist Church, Memphis, Tennessee

“Most of us entered the ministry to preach God’s Word, win the lost, and disciple the saved. We did not answer God’s call anticipating the tremendous strain that exists in every church in the areas of organization and administration. Pastors are not executives; they are shepherds. That is why they need and desire help in these crucial areas.

Bob Sorrell offers real solutions for the local pastor. His ministry, The Associate, was founded for the purpose of assisting the pastor and the church in developing organizational structures and strategies that will help any church accomplish the Great Commission more effectively. He offers priceless guidance in areas such as staff structure, budget planning, setting church priorities and goals, transforming a dream into a workable vision, and much more. His book, The Next Step is must reading for any pastor who desires to see the church thrive.

King David “shepherded” Israel with both “integrity of heart” and with “skillful hands.” You and the Lord must take care of the integrity part. Then allow Bob Sorrell to help you and your church be more skillful and organized. He did it for us at Gardendale’s First Baptist Church. He can help you too.”

charis said...

Has anyone looked at savingbellevue lately? It seems as if things are not right in the world of GBC...

This is about the man that Bob Sorrell has called to preach there for the next four weeks, Claude Thomas. OH, and the judgement of Dr. Paige Patterson seems to be under another cloud...

http://gbcsaved.com/summary.htm

Lin said...

concerned, I missed the triplets thing...3 minutes???

Ok, you win it all. Hands down.

Lin said...

JTB: Yeah, I know. To my everlasting embarrassment, I used to work with guys like this all the time.

You have no idea how immersed I was in the seeker/leadership stuff.

But, I repented.

johnthebaptist said...

Ok, personally, I have never been a Bob Sorrell fan.

Reading the list of consulting services, it seems that Bob is consulting a lot of churches that are having trouble. He seems to be on the committees that bring in trouble pastors...I stress the word SEEMS.

Red flags came up all over the place when I read the list.

I am not trying to imply anything eventhough it might seem that way. I just don't know how to express my suspictions any other way.

concernedSBCer said...

Charis: I just read the article....this doesn't look good at all. :/

charis said...

Here's another one

http://gbcsaved.com/position_paper_regarding_the_app.htm

concernedSBCer said...

Lin: Well, it was easier than it sounds!

johnthebaptist said...

lin, glad you repented. Can you teach that class to the BBC leadership?

concernedSBCer said...

Charis: Your 11:09 link does not work. :(

David Hall said...

Yeah, well I'm supporting all four of those kidney stones through college.

I'm still trying to talk one out of going for an art degree, but he's like granite.

concernedSBCer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
charis said...

I still can't post links.. but
the end of the last link should be

the_app.htm

(Wondering if that will work or not... Still not the "Link Master")

concernedSBCer said...

Cakes: LOL.....mine all got scholarships....

Just sayin'

:)

johnthebaptist said...

why said.....


. There is nothing you can say, you have sinned. Your words are NOT of Christ, they are of Satan himself.


Reply: is why saying that amy is taking his words out of his mouth? Why = Satan...I get them confused.

Amy, please don't take Satans, I mean, Why's words.
He gets fussy.

Oh yea, Why or Satan, can spew hate, anger, lies, and not sin. You can't.

Lin said...

JTB: lin, glad you repented. Can you teach that class to the BBC leadership? "

Sorry, they only listen to their 'own kind'.


Cakes: "Yeah, well I'm supporting all four of those kidney stones through college.

I'm still trying to talk one out of going for an art degree, but he's like granite."

Thanks a lot, Cakes. Now, I have spewed my Bigelow white oriental tea all over the keyboard. That was hysterical.

allofgrace said...

here's one more...you might be a Baptist if: you believe Jesus fed the five thousand with catfish and hushpuppies.

gmommy said...

Lin,LIN,LIN,
(shaking my head)

Fight wars??..OK!

This woman has painted the house,
put my fence back up(with the wrong nails),
fixed the hotwater heater twice,
the dryer,
mudded the walls in the kitchen(after stripping layers of wallpaper off),
cut limbs while on the roof,
locked my 6 ft.kid in my room so I could go out to meet an intruder(I was wrong,thank God!) with a hammer....
should I go on????

OH!!! THEN went out and had my nails done!! :)

We CAN do almost anything we HAVE to do....emphasis on have.
Unfortunately,
since God didn't create and wire me to fight wars,
I'm falling apart as we type!.

AND, I won't call any names here,
but that list is NOTHING compared to another "handy" woman I know!!!!

Lin said...

"You KNOW NOTHING about Donna"

Whaddaya mean? We know her by the trophies and tiaras on display. Wasn't that a 'getting to know you' display of sorts?

gmommy said...

Just read more....triplets WIN hands down!!!!


Lin...."present your sword"...good memories!

Lin said...

"here's one more...you might be a Baptist if: you believe Jesus fed the five thousand with catfish and hushpuppies. "

Good one! Catfish on the sea of Galilee. How DO you spell that?

johnthebaptist said...

allofgrace....the catfish and hushpuppies joke is alot funnier than the chicken jokes.

Preachers love chicken.

Does anyone know where a KFC that is open 24 hours is? : )

allofgrace said...

why,
You really need to refrain from getting in such a twist.

johnthebaptist said...

I should clarify...poor preachers love chicken.

Rich, BBC credit card toten preachers love Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

gmommy said...

Satan always ACCUSES....

that's what I learned in SS.

I also learned that Satan is the father of LIES!

Lin said...

gmommy, I am not as shallow as you may think:

Before cell phones, I changed a tire once on my big white Lincoln on I-65 in the middle of nowheresville. It literally ruined by silk Dana Buchman blouse. Never again.

Whoever invented those 'jacks' ought to be shot at sundown.

:o)

concernedSBCer said...

If you haven't read Charis' links, you need to. The report from his previous church is mind-blowing.

What is happening to mega-pastors? You gotta wonder if it's just too much temptation.

charis said...

Let's see if this works.... check out this: this!

Lin said...

What is happening to mega-pastors? You gotta wonder if it's just too much temptation.

11:26 PM, June 26, 2007

Bingo. It is not just a temptation but a feeling of being 'owed'. They have bought into the belief that they are really equivalent to a CEO and have same types of powers and access.

Not only that but they surround themselves with like thinking successful elders. (they are not always called elders but you get my drift)

why said...

grace: and you and others need to STEP up and CALL out these that get on this blog and rant and rave and spew personal attacks and HATE. Your credibility might go up along with others if you were no so hypocritical.

concernedSBCer said...

Charis: You got it!!!! Congratulations! If Nass were here, you'd probably get the applause link!

Very interesting, all. If he's coming to this area, you need to read it..........

Piglet said...

Lin and Gmommy

Okay, I'm going to get in on this one:

When my old Sable used to die on me, I would pop the hood and start it with a screw driver. In record time and to the shock and awe of any male in the vicinity (my boys were proud).

I climbed into the attic after a squirrel with a can of hairspray and a broom...

When my five year old's brand new bike was stolen out from under our carport, I packed him and my three year old in the car and went cruising the neighborhood in my car with a baseball bat looking for the thief (good thing I didn't find him).

gmommy said...

LIN,
You could NEVER be shallow!!! You just have prettier nails....:)

You are the brain!!! we actually have several great brains on this funny blog!!!!

johnthebaptist said...

Charis, thanks for the links. I read those somewhere else the other day. I am shocked that the preacher is preaching at GBC.

Thanks alot Bob Sorrell.

Piglet said...

Oh, we've moved and now thier bikes are in a garage. :)

Piglet said...

WHY

Don't you have any jokes?

Oh, I forgot, you ARE one. :D

gmommy said...

Piglet!!! LOL...you win!

allofgrace said...

You might be a charismatic if:

* (Guys) As a single, you used a spiritual gift to discern in advance which dateable women in your church (six months after you started dating them) were going to give you the "I just want to be friends" talk.

* (Gals) As a single, you named and claimed the cute guy who sits in the third pew on the left as your future husband, but somehow it bounced off him and landed on the fat, balding guy in pew two.

* Someone blurts out "Shambala Honda!" and you think something else besides Dave Shambala's Honda dealership over on Third and Wexler.

* There's not a spot above your beltline that hasn't had a church elder's hand laid on it.

* You're convinced that Oral Roberts actually did see a 900-foot tall Jesus.

* You occasionally long to be Lutheran so that once in your life you could enjoy a decent church potluck.

* You know the difference between "Rhema" and "Logos"--and you explain it to more than three people every week.

* You can actually name the five parts of the Five-fold ministry.

* Two words: Dake's Bible.

* You have a signed, life-sized poster of Rod Parsley, but you have no idea who this Rick Warren guy is.

* The most commonly heard phrase in your church on Sundays is, "I hear the Lord saying...."

* You've been to Kansas City, Toronto AND Brownsville.

* You skipped three lunches a week to save the money to go to a prophetic conference.

* You know that IHOP isn't just a place to eat Belgian waffles.

* You've personally wrestled with a principality.

* You never confuse Agnes Sanford with Paula Sandford.

* You know that Foursquare isn't just a game that kids play during recess.

* You use only the best extra virgin olive oil in the anointing oil vial you always carry with you.

* You named your two kids "Paul" and "Jan."

* You secretly wish your pastor would choke to death on a bratwurst at the church picnic so you could raise him up from the dead just to have him acknowledge--finally!--God's call on your own personal ministry.

* At your last revival meeting, all your old silver-mercury fillings turned to gold.

* It's not weird for you that your pastors are married to each other.

* You've ever wondered where Marilyn Hickey shops for her clothes.

* Your phone has the number for TBN's giving hotline programmed in the speed dial.

* You've ever laid hands on a pet for healing.

* You've been a Christian for more than ten years and yet have no idea what the words are to the Apostle's Creed, let alone that longer Nicean one.

charis said...

tee hee! It's funny how posting a little bitty link has been sooo hard to figure out! :)

Lin said...

"I climbed into the attic after a squirrel with a can of hairspray and a broom..."

I have to know...did this kill him or did his hair just stay in place better?

Seems to me he would just 'stick' to the broom.

You did not think this one out, did you, piglet? See, that is why I counsel my girlfriends to always call the professionals. There are people out there who do this sort of thing for a living, you know. :o)

gmommy said...

11:31 post
grace?????


only one little weenie...ooops...whyne spitin and spewin /raning and raving on this funny blog.

concernedSBCer said...

Lin: Thank you my friend for that spew moment! Between you and Piglet, I'm just better off to call it a night!

I think I'll remember the hairspray trick.........

gmommy said...

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lin,you kill me!!

oc said...

Spewin', hatin', lyin'..
The truth he is denyin'..
Yet he keeps on tryin'
Raw head!

New BBC Open Forum said...

whyne wrote:

"How hard is that to understand?"

How hard is the word "banned" to understand?

allofgrace said...

You might be Lutheran if...


...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.

....when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.

...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.

...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.

...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.

....you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

...a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.

...you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.

...the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.

....your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.

....in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!", you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.

...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.

...you make change in the offering plate for a ten.

...the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.

...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.

...the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk.

...someone asks you after church if there's any "decaf coffee" and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesn't have caffeine, it can't be coffee!

...you think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity (or maybe even Episcopalian!)

...you think the term "Jell-O salad" is redundant.

...you freeze the leftover coffee from fellowship hour for next week.

...you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."

...you think you're paying your pastor too much if he gets a new car for the first time in eight years.

...you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.

...it takes 10 minutes to say good-bye.

...doughnuts are in the official church budget.

...they have to rope off the last pews in church so the front isn't empty.

...you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you."

...you tap a church visitor on the shoulder and say, "excuse me, but you're in my seat."

...you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.

...Bach is your favorite composer just because he was Lutheran, too.

...you hesitate to clap for the church choir or special music because "it just wasn't done that way in the old days."

...your church library has three Jell-O cookbooks.

...it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change," while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.

...you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.

...you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.

...requests you hear are preceeded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then..."

...you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of it.

...you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck.

...you have an uncontollable urge to sit in the back of any room.

...your house is a mess because you're "saved by Grace," not by works.

...the doilies underneath the Thanksgiving flowers make nice snowflakes at Christmas.

...you think the communion wafers are too spicy.

...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ.

... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween.

...your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department.

...you think lime Jell-O with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad.

...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a "mixed marriage." (or any other two synods not in fellowship.)

...Folgers has you on their Christmas list.

...your congregation's first two operating rules are "Don't change" and "Don't spend."

...your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as "the holy city." (WELS=Milwaukee; ELCA=Chicago; ELS=Mankato; etc.)

...you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.

...the only mealtime prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus."

...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.

...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.

...at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you."

...you can't get into heaven without a casserole.

...you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season.

...you wonder why bread and wine are used for Communion instead of coffee and donuts.

...Commandment #11--If it's never been done that way before, don't do it.

...you consider lottery tickets a serious investment.

...you make your hotdishes with cream of mushroom soup and your salads with Jell-O.

...you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.

...a line item in the trustee's budget is "coffee maker maintenance."

...you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

...it's 110 degrees outside and you still have coffee after services.

...change means wearing your brown suit instead of your blue suit to church.

...you read your Catechism and start arguing theology with yourself because no one else is around.

...the most mail you receive all year is from the Stewardship Committee.

...you win $10 million in the lottery and decide to throw a party and money is no object, so you advertise in the church bulletin, rent the parish hall, and ask all of your friends to bring a side dish or salad.

...every time something changes, the old one was better.

...you hold your family reunion in the church basement.

...a capital fund drive is needed to finance the new one million cup coffee urn.

...you serve Jell-O as a vegetable.

...your biggest fund-raisers are bake sales instead of bingo.

...you can't have a meeting without having a meal.

...sharing the peace during the service takes more time than the sermon.

...all of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.

...you're willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

...the second service each Sunday is coffee hour.

...all your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia.

...potluck dinners are your favorite indoor sport.

...you ask for "A Mighty Fortress" on the love song request line.

...you automatically sing 'amen' at the end of every song you sing.

...you count coffee among the sacraments.

...your coffee cup is permanently stained.

...you consume some form of Jell-O at every holiday meal.

...you don't question why the seat you sit in at church is called a pew.

johnthebaptist said...

I remember when I was in my 20's I wanted a godly,proverbs 31 woman.

In my thirtys, I wanted a woman who could find proverbs 31.

When I hit 40, I would be happy if she could spell God.

Lin said...

* You know the difference between "Rhema" and "Logos"--and you explain it to more than three people every week.


Unbelievable...I have a cousin who does this!

New BBC Open Forum said...

Speaking of Ruth's Chris, have you ever perused their menu? So that's how the other half lives! BTW, this menu is nearly three years old which means their prices are even higher now.

Junkster said...

Piglet said...
I climbed into the attic after a squirrel with a can of hairspray and a broom...

I was planning to go to bed a while ago, but got distracted, then came back and saw this ... strikes me as very funny for some reason. I'm trying to figure out if the squirrel was having a bad hair day or if you were trying to get him to help out with the chores...

Piglet said...

Lin

I never caught the squirrel.

I planned on blinding him with the hairspray and beating him senseless with the broom.

He must have got his feelings hurt because he moved out.

Lin said...

You guys are precious. Thanks for some great big laughs tonight.

g- nite.

johnthebaptist said...

New BBC Open Forum said...
Speaking of Ruth's Chris, have you ever perused their menu? So that's how the other half lives! BTW, this menu is nearly three years old which means their prices are even higher now.

Reply: if you are carrying "the card"...no American Express....BBC credit card, price isn't an object.

Dr. Bill Loney said...

How many Loneys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but it really doesn't matter since my abandoned Dairy Queen (office/bachelor's pad) had its power turned off due to the power company not taking 'cankle reduction' vouchers as legal tender; 'boil lancing' coupons also would not keep them from leaving the good Doctor in the dark. But as good fortune would have it, the abandoned chemical landfill on the outskirts of town had a literal treasure trove of yellow barrels filled with a 'glowing' gelatin type material. I have a barrel in every corner with the lid open, and it lights up the whole facility; And in what I am sure is an unrelated coincidence, my inhuman layer of backhair has begun to shed in handfuls, just in time for the summer heat...but strangely, I have grown an additional vestigial tail...not complaining, though I have had to make alterations to my leisure suits(2 tail holes instead of 1).

My mentor, the highly esteemed and world renowned professor of cybermedicine at the Mexico City Community College Online Medical School, Dr. Nachos Grande, has informed me that my delayed arrival has forced them to fill the staff position that he had previously offered. In light of this news, I have my sights set on a return to Memphis. I contacted my ex-landlady, and my upstairs garage apartment is available...but she has informed me that my deposit cannot be paid in (questionable and/or possibly dangerous) medical procedure vouchers/coupons. So I will begin the process of donating blood products this week to raise the gas and deposit money. Also, the community that I live in has offered me $100 if I would move...they see the fancy El Camino, the uptown leisure suits, the classy barrels of chemical dump sludge...I think my highbrow, jetset lifestyle and the luxurious indulgences my profession affords me sort of intimidates them, and they would rather not be reminded of being on the lower rung of the socio-economic ladder. If anything, I am sensitive to the little man, so I will take them up on their offer.

So, I'll see you all by the end of the summer, just in time for the observance of 'The Tripe Days/Spamboree' festival. I'm sure the advertisements will be in the Commercial Appeal soon.

Also, my landlady is going to throw a little themed party for me upon my return: "Bill Loney: Return of the King" (of unlicensed medical practitioners who have at least two vestigial tails). Make sure and RSVP!!

William T. Loney, MD

concernedSBCer said...

Piglet: For future reference, try hair spray on flying insects instead....it's supposed to bring them down so they can be....rendered harmless....not hairless, unfortunately.....

concernedSBCer said...

Dr. Loney!!!!!
We've MISSED you!!!!!

We so wanted to have you join us in our recent bowling tournament.....

concernedSBCer said...

Dr. Loney, As your two tails could hinder your bowling, it was discussed having a spam-b-que instead. What do you say?

charis said...

LOL! Concerned, I believe that Dr. Bill Loney also suffers from a multiple personality disorder.

concernedSBCer said...

Charis: Wouldn't that make our game of charades more fun?

concernedSBCer said...

According to my handy-dandy dictionary:
Ban: to prohibit; to forbid; public condemnation; taboo; outlaw

Piglet said...

Concernedsbcer

Should I get my hairspray, do you think? :)

gmommy said...

I WISH Dr Looney would have been in town when all the bloggers met and had so much FUN!!!!!

allofgrace...
bring that joke book next time!!!!

Dr. Bill Loney said...

Charis,

I do not appreciate that remark...and I don't either!!

WTL, MD

concernedSBCer said...

Piglet: Flies getting to you?
;)

Piglet said...

I bet Dr. Loney makes a mean Spam casserole!

gmommy said...

piglet!!!!!!
my side is killing me....

where did Cakes run of to!!!?

concernedSBCer said...

Think of the options.....pickled spam, broiled spam (for those watching their weight), bar-b-qued spam (it is Memphis, you know), spam fetticine......I could go on and on!

Piglet said...

Hey, wait. What is in Spam, anyway? :o(

gmommy said...

Concerned....
speaking of casseroles... (yummy!!)

concernedSBCer said...

Piglet: Some things are better left unknown.....

johnthebaptist said...

I wonder if ol' Doc would like a little hairspray sprayed on his back hair....can't keep it in braids all the time.

I wonder where hair stylist get training to style back hair?

oc said...

Concernedsbcer said,
According to my handy-dandy dictionary:
Ban: to prohibit; to forbid; public condemnation; taboo; outlaw

oc says: Oohh! Get it, Whyne?
Is that hard to understand?
So speweth not at this locale. Speweth on mikey's blog, where thou is not banneth.

gmommy said...

JTB,
grossssssssss

Dr. Bill Loney said...

gmommy,

if you have another 'get together', I'd be glad to come and bring my 'Loney Family Album'.

It's makes the 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' people shudder. I should know; I submitted it to them and they returned it to me with a restraining order attached to it. I must admit, the Loney Album is not for the weak of heart, or stomach.

WTL, MD

concernedSBCer said...

I think it is time for me to call it a night......thanks Dr. Loney for stopping by.....thanks truthseekers for brightening my life (those lightbulb jokes were great!).......and now I'll dream of our blog party with Dr. Loney and our Spam-o-rama, a favorite Spam dish for everyone.....

gmommy said...

OK, just glanced at the articles referred to earlier.....
the plot thickens


too much for tonight.
so glad we got to laugh


Lin..it was DRAW your swords....
my kids said "present"...

we are such a rag tag band of truth seekers:)

Piglet said...

I may have to visit the official Spam website to check this out...

Off to bed now. G'night y'all and thanks for the giggles! :0)

Sleep tight, WHY. Accept my virtual smooch on your fuzzy little angry head!

charis said...

Ahh... Dr. Loney the Lonely
...suffering from all of those unjustified restraining orders and the restrictive societal conventions that keep everyone so far away. Sigh.

johnthebaptist said...

Good night all.

gmommy said...

Dr, Looney,
I'll bring the pepto and rolaids...you gotta come!!!!

Dr. Bill Loney said...

Nice chatting, but really have to go...one of the barrels of chemical sludge is causing the ceiling to melt...must be going bad...which is strange, because it tasted OK when I opened it.

WTL, MD

PS...is it normal for popcorn to spontaneously pop in your bare hands? Not complaining, its just if I would have know, I would have grabbed a stick of butter beforehand

gmommy said...

don't let the bed bugs bite:)

Dr. Bill Loney said...

Charis,

I am not lonely...I simply have not found my double vestigial tailed, peculiar palated, questionable medical credentialed, leisure suit wearing niche in this world...lonely? Lonely like a fox

WTL,MD

concernedSBCer said...

Dr. Loney: You will never be truly lonely, as you have your Savior and your blog friends that love you......vestigial tail, back hair, unique relatives and all!

why said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
concernedSBCer said...

I'm not being controlled and used by the Devil. My eyes are wide open to sin and sin needs to be called sin so it does not ruin the entire body. READ YOUR BIBLE.

allofgrace said...

why,
You give way to much credit to the devil...he's not an equal power in this universe you know. He can only do what the One who DOES rule this universe says he can. You sound like someone who's been trained to say the same thing over and over like a mantra. Like the army trains soldiers what to do if captured...nothing but name, rank, and serial number. We already know your name, rank and serial number why, so everything else from here is just repetition. You or no one else is capable of picking through what is of Christ and what is of the devil, that is unless somehow you've obtained the power to see into others' hearts and know their thoughts and motives. In fact the Bible is quite clear that one can't even know his own heart, much less anyone else's. Take a break, God is still on the throne and He's not giving it up...not to the devil or anyone else.

concernedSBCer said...

Oops....sorry, Charlie....I fed...well, you know. :(

New BBC Open Forum said...

TW, don't you have a business to run? "Banned" means just what it says.

Piglet said...

AMY

Are you lurking? There is no email on your profile. Can you email me??

ezekiel said...

Moses, the prophets, Jesus and Paul all had the same message. “repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”

Ezekiel 14:6
"Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, " Repent and turn away from your idols and turn your faces away from all your abominations.
Ezekiel 14:5-7 (in Context) Ezekiel 14 (Whole Chapter)

1.Ezekiel 18:30
"Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, each according to his conduct," declares the Lord GOD. " Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so that iniquity may not become a stumbling block to you.
Ezekiel 18:29-31 (in Context) Ezekiel 18 (Whole Chapter)

2.Acts 26:20
but kept declaring both to those of Damascus first, and also at Jerusalem and then throughout all the region of Judea, and even to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, performing deeds appropriate to repentance.
Acts 26:19-21 (in Context) Acts 26 (Whole Chapter)

The message is the same. Repent, turn to GOD. Notice that in the OT, as well as the NT and surely today, the most resistance to the message comes from the established religious power.

Today we get the same resistance from self serving preachers, and the church leadership that tell us, like they did Paul, “shut up and sit down”. They claim we should not rebuke, that we should be silent, that we should use “grace” to communicate. They preach a gospel of peace, peace, mercy, love from one side of their mouth while telling folks to leave, fire devoted ministers, run off devoted teachers. We have ministers protecting pedophiles, seminary presidents protecting one of their own all in the name of Grace.

1.Matthew 23:27
" Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.
Matthew 23:26-28 (in Context) Matthew 23 (Whole Chapter)

2.Acts 23:3
Then Paul said to him, "God is going to strike you, you whitewashed wall! Do you sit to try me according to the Law, and in violation of the Law order me to be struck?"
Acts 23:2-4 (in Context) Acts 23 (Whole Chapter)

Look around you. People everywhere, the people of the world see how you act and the abominations you perform and refuse the very offer of life that Jesus offers. All because you act the way you do. They already know they don’t need what you are selling. That salvation is free and blessings are from God. They don’t have to pay for them and they already act better than you do. Look how you treat your own flock…..Why would anyone else want to be part of that?

1.Matthew 23:13
[ Eight Woes ] " But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people; for you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.
Matthew 23:12-14 (in Context) Matthew 23 (Whole Chapter)

2.Luke 11:52
"Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge; you yourselves did not enter, and you hindered those who were entering."
Luke 11:51-53 (in Context) Luke 11 (Whole Chapter)

But then all you can muster is a grace message. You tell us to follow scripture but then refuse to follow it. Tell us we should be nice, play nice, do what we do behind the cloak of secrecy that you so vehemently defend. All the while claiming that Jesus is LIGHT. And He is, but you sure don’t want that light in your chambers. You don’t want it on your spending habits, your back room meetings. You say you represent the TRUTH and the LIGHT but want neither of them in you business. And the fact of the matter is that it is a business. A big one. The same business that Tyre was about. The business of prostitution. You trade with the World. The same business we read about in Rev 17-19.Jesus really meant it when He told us that He will say “depart from me, you workers of iniquity…”

As far as Grace goes, there is no Grace in the absence of Truth.

14And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.
15John testified about Him and cried out, saying, "This was He of whom I said, ' He who comes after me has a higher rank than I, for He existed before me.'"
16For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.
17For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.

As we know, God has kept a remnant…..there are good shepherds, good pastors and good sheep. But Paul warns us that there are wolves among us. Wolves in sheeps clothing….

concernedSBCer said...

Ezekiel: I just forwarded your post to my children. I don't know how anyone could argue with what you said. Thank you.

johnthebaptist said...

WATCHING SAID....


Are you talking about Gaines or Rogers? You need to be clear, sounds like both to me!


What is you obsession with BBC & their pastors?

What about your pastor? Why aren't you blogging about him???

johnthebaptist said...

sorry, I fed them again.

concernedSBCer said...

JTB: I know....I did too. :(

Sometimes it's REALLY hard to ignore, isn't it?

ezekiel said...

JTB,

Hard not too....

New BBC Open Forum said...

TIME TO MOVE UP! A NEW TOPIC AWAITS.

Thank you,

NBBCOF

Unknown said...

"Rick Warren has challenged my thinking in the area of church growth in an incredible way. This book is on the must read list for every pastor." Adrian Rogers. I understand the anger over the child molester that you feel SG protected, I do not know whether that is the case or not. I do know that you can't blame SG for the "purpose driven movement" at your church considering that Adrian endorsed the book. If SG or other church leaders around the world are doing so it is at least in part due to Adrians recommendation of the methods taught in the book. I know that before I read The Purpose Driven Church I opened it to read who had endorsed it and on seeing Adrians name I said to myself this must be a good book. So I guess my question is what was and is your opinion of your previous pastor, was he a false teacher?

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